Tuesday afternoon I was patiently sitting in posture clinic waiting to wrap up the last presentations of camel pose. Then, only then, we could move on to the next posture, Rabbit pose. I like to be prepared to present my dialogue at top of the group. Then, it makes it easier to move onto the next posture, and well, being prepared and detailed is just in my nature. I presented second, just before our two pm break.
One of my favorite teachers, Juan, gave feedback and said it was ‘very proper.’ I smiled and said, ‘Hmm, great, I hadn’t heard that before, is that good?’ Yes – very good, just add more blood and extra dialogue next time. Sure – I’ll take that.
Then before I knew it, we were wrapping up our break and chatting a bit amongst ourselves, and in walks Laura! One of my teachers from back home! I ran to her immediately and gave her a huge hug! I was so excited! I didn’t expect to see her until later in the day, it was just the best! She said Sara and Ariel were just getting tea and they were on the way too! It was awesome! They joined the rest of the afternoon of posture clinic with my group. I was a little sad that the timing didn’t quite work and they missed my rabbit pose by a hare, but it felt so good to see them.
Towards the end clinic, Sara made a joke and said – ‘how about we stop and have Kara do the next posture, Head to Knee with Stretching?’ Oh boy! I could have but I said I didn’t want to interrupt the sequence and flow of Rabbit posture for the group :)
That night, we all cheated a little bit and setup our mats together during class and the rest of the week. Talk about amazing energy! It was so nice to spend some time together in posture clinics, during classes, a few nights of dinner out of the hotel. It was just so great! We had some great laughs and it just overall made my week. Thank you so much for making the journey out here!
This week I also delivered my final posture – spine twist. It felt great but I immediately thought ‘I hope the rest of the class dialogue is still in my brain’. I’m giving my mind a one day break from my dialogue book then plan to go back and review from the start again. I’ll be teaching so soon! I can’t believe it!
Wednesday night, our lecture wrapped up around 1 – 1:30 am. I wish I could recap something valuable from it but it’s just not coming to me. Last night’s lecture was a 4:15 ish kind of night. That’s all I’ll say about that.
Again, I opened some wonderful letters this week! Thank you Uncle Kenny – good one! You will try this yoga and you will thank me later. More importantly, your back and spine will thank you first. Larry, Zee, Auntie Anne, Auntie Margaret, and Sarah thank you! Everyone wrote such wonderful things filled with love. I’m always surprised and always thankful, thank you.
Give with Zero Expectations
The Massacre
Friday night’s class was an absolute massacre. Picture this. First, we had 40 visiting guests join us for class. Next, we had an additional 130 visiting teachers in class to complete weekend re-certification. Our original group of trainees rounds out around 430. That equals 600 people in one hot yoga room.
I don’t even know where to start. With that many people, the heat and humidity factor was like nothing I’ve ever felt. Plus, the heat dial was turned to the maximum – it was hotter than our average of 130-140 degrees no doubt. I started getting dizzy during the very first breathing exercise. Not normal! In just the first ten minutes, I was already dripping sweat like a maniac and looked like I just stepped out of the pool. I started to notice a lot of yogi’s sitting out right away at the first posture. I wanted to stay strong for this challenge but the dizzy kept coming and going and then I started blacking out.
I decided I really needed to access my mental strength to make this happen. I starting thinking, mind over the matter, you can do this, just pace yourself and do as much as possible without passing out. I was able to get to balancing stick pose while watching yogis through the haze drop down and be carried out shaking. I had to sit down, heart racing. I got up to do one triangle pose - the peak of the standing series – and the room starting spinning. I sat down again upset with myself but realized it was necessary to listen to my body, even though my stubborn mind wanted to keep pushing myself. At this point in class – I’d say about only 200 of 600 students were barely standing, weak and broken.
Bikram, in true fashion and character, enjoyed every minute of killing us. He was shouting his typical dialogue, calling us lazy, stingy, you know, the whole bit.
As I sat there trying to breath and stay alive, I starting getting angry. As each minute went by my mind was racing with more and more negative thoughts. This just isn’t normal! There is no point to torture us this bad! This isn’t healthy! Why would he do this to us – even Bikram was pointing at people and telling them to leave the room to get air. I never thought I could hate what I love, but at that moment, I hated yoga, I hated the hot room, I hated my water bottle, I hated the feet in my face in front of me, everything around me I just hated. My mind was in a bad neighborhood. When I decided that I didn’t want to reach a point of being carried out of the room, I got up and left at fixed firm pose.
The hallway just outside the torture chamber looked something like a line you might see of people camping out all night miserable in the rain waiting to purchase concert tickets, except, there wasn’t anything to look forward to like concert tickets. Yogis were passed out, lying down, sitting down, crying, breaking down, dripping sweat, all the way down the hallway and in the medical room. Adrienne and I walked as fast as possible for the bathroom quickly realizing our legs weren’t quite working. We sat down and tried to get our breath back to normal. The tile floor looked like there was a garden hose left on all night, it was covered in water and sweat and people were slipping everywhere. We didn’t sit long, as the sound of yogi’s vomiting one after another put me over the edge.
After about ten minutes, I was completely dried off and started to get chills in the air conditioning. I couldn’t even process the thought of going back in that room. I couldn’t even sit up straight. We both decided to sit outside, wait for the end and just grab our mats and run out of there. You should have seen it – yoga etiquette at the end of class is to wait for Bikram to leave the room before anyone else can, out of respect. If you even try, the teachers will stop you and turn you back around to your mat. Not tonight. It was like even the teachers had given up and let the anxiously dying yogis sneak out.
Oh – I almost forgot. If it couldn’t be any worse, our 90 minute class was 120 minutes on three hours of sleep.
I have really enjoyed so much about this training and I am so grateful to here. However, the combination of the torture from tonight and knowing that just two quick weeks are left, part of me just wants it over now. I just want to get home, teach and teach and teach, and recover from this intense sleep deprived process. I was looking forward to the pizza party tonight (for real this time) and the night off from lecture but I only stopped by for a few minutes. I’m just plain and simple exhausted – mentally and physically. I can’t wait for this weekend to relax and refocus.
