The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

This week, the entire left side of my body has been like the ‘junkyard body’ especially my knee.  Right side, no problem.  I have been struggling hard through class which is so frustrating to me.  I actually cramped up a few times which hasn’t really happened to me yet.  I kept thinking all week that maybe sore and sleep deprived is the new normal and it’ll work itself out. 

   

I got a little curious and wandered in the gift shop to see if they may have any Tiger Balm or Icy Hot.  I’ve never used it before, and I kept seeing yogis with it, so maybe I just needed a little something to ease the pain.  Wow – there was only one left.  I took it as a sign to try something new and picked it up. 

 

At first, I only put a little on my knee.  Nothing really happened so I put more on.  Then I figured, while I’m at it, I’ll just put it all over my sore legs and see what happens.  I ended up using half the tube waiting for some kind of effect.  Still nothing happened, what a waste of $9.00 I thought. 

So I carried on to Posture Clinic in the afternoon and then our 5 pm class.  Hmm, immediately during pranayama breathing my legs started to tingle and heat up a bit.  It felt so good at first!  Then, as soon as we hit the second set of Half Moon, my legs were on fire.  I kept saying, it’s okay just breathe through it, you’ll be okay, just breathe.  It felt like I was being dipped into boiling water.  I couldn’t take it, it was unbearable, the worst pain I’ve ever felt.  I ran out of the room – (first time ever in my entire yoga career - major sad face). 

I saw the nurse that is always stationed just outside of the hot room in the medical tent.  She said just rinse it off with soap and water in the bathroom and get right back in the hot room.  So I did.  I came back during the last set of Eagle.  I did Standing Head to Knee and the sensation immediately came back, even worse.  I don’t know what it’s like to run through fire, but if I had to guess, this was an equal feeling.  My legs and turned bright red, swelled up, and flared up with a rash.  I really thought burning flames were about to blast out of my thighs.  I could even see the lotion starting to drip out of my system and down my calf muscles.  I started crying during standing bow and lost it.  Uncontrollably crying.  The worst pain of my life.  Absolute worst!  

I sat down and watched the class through my tears.  All I wanted to do was run out of the room and get in the shower.  Andrew, Dee, Ellen, Erin, Dayle, thank you for the love and huge amounts of ice.  I cried all the way to the floor series and didn’t do a single posture until half tortoise poise, and even that was painful.  I pushed through the final postures of class still crying but saying ‘you can do this, mind over matter, do the posture and try and forget about the pain’.  All the time, I kept thinking ‘well, that’s what I get for not being smart and at least reading the directions, how could I be 30 years old and not know how to use this stuff?!  Stupid!’  I mean the pain was worse than when I broke bones and bruised my entire body in a serious car accident and was on morphine pills.  Worse!

So I missed out on what sounded like a great class with Stacey from Las Vegas.  I learned a lesson I should I have learned long ago regarding medicated lotions.  I learned about compassion.  I learned how to trick my mind during times of suffering.  Above all, I learned how grateful I am to be surrounded by such wonderful people.  When I thought I was going to die, you helped me.  Sometimes, both in the hot room and in life, we have to go through the bad and the ugly, to get to the good. 

Pain is just weakness leaving the body.